Moving forward after a partner has been lost is very difficult. Many people avoid dating again for many years because they have preconceived notions of how long grieving should last. Even if the loss wasn’t death, grieving is still involved. Here are a few things to think about.
Guilt
The idea of loving someone else can lead to tremendous feelings of guilt. It is important for you to understand that you will never love 2 people the same way. Just because you may decide to start dating again does not mean you are looking to replace your last love. Dating is about companionship and happiness, not about replacing feelings that have been lost.
Go Slowly
It’s not uncommon for people to feel the need to jump in to a relationship right after a loss. The loneliness can be unbearable, and for some this feels like the best way to combat it. Unfortunately this usually makes the grief worse, and these relationships rarely last. Instead, go slowly, and only at a pace you are comfortable with.
Reactions of Others
Every grieves differently. You may be worried that family and friends will look down their noses once you decide to move forward. The bottom line is, you have to live for yourself and not worry so much about others. Talk to close friends and family and explain to them what you are feeling. Also be sure to talk about how important the partner that has been lost was. Reassuring them that you aren’t trying to replace anyone can go a long way in acceptance
