Violent relationships are not something that should be swept under the rug. Unfortunately, people get involved in these every day without realizing that abuse could be right around the corner. If you are in a violent relationship it is imperative that you seek help and get out. But if it hasn’t turned violent yet, there are some warning signs that things may head down that road.
Everyone gets jealous from time to time. But something as simple as hanging out with your friends shouldn’t invoke feelings of jealousy in a healthy relationship. Jealousy may not always lead to violence, but it’s one of the common traits among spouse abusers. If your partner tries to control what you do, or gets angry with you when you want to go out with friends or spend time away, it may be time to assess the relationship.
If you feel you are being manipulated in to having sex or doing anything you don’t want to do, this is not a good relationship to be in. Abusers will often use guilt as a way to get what they want. It’s a form of control.
This should never be tolerated, ever. If your partner has had violent fits of rage, even if you haven’t been involved (ie- they punch holes in walls or kick car doors) you seriously need to seek help. Don’t make excuses, and don’t accept their excuses. It’s very common for an abuser to try to make the other person feel at fault for their rage and violence.
You can call the police, a family member, counselor, anyone who will listen. There are many organizations devoted to safety in relationships, and they can help you get out as well.